Silken Mouli — this is genuinely one of the best comic pieces I've read in a long while, and I want to be specific about why.
The bathos is doing all the real work, and you never once let go of it. An Incubus Sorcerer Prince being ambushed over lawn-mowing, Residents' Association dues, and a squeaky back door is a joke that could collapse in a dozen ways, and it never does — you keep escalating the domestic-mundane register right alongside the supernatural-erotic one, so the two stay in perfect, ridiculous tension all the way to "in this economy?" That's much harder to sustain than it looks.
The chorus of women is a small masterclass in comic characterisation through tag and rhythm alone — Knee Braces, Sore Vagina, the freshly-permed cleaner-widow — each one distinguishable purely by preoccupation and cadence, no physical description doing the lifting. And "organised, orderly oral, as it were" is the kind of line that tells me you trust your reader to catch a joke without you underlining it.
The illusion catalogue near the end is the piece's best stretch — Bugatti woman, the Hugh-Grant butler, the K-pop idol, dad-bod-with-a-sandwich, and then the cat. The cat is the punchline of the whole sequence, and putting it last, undercutting the fantasy escalation with something completely banal, is exactly the right comic instinct.
And the ending — Anne walking out with a fiver from the Royal Bank of Scotland and a fistful of pound coins — is perfect. It's the joke the whole piece has been building toward: the Prince turning the tables from harassed to transactional, and doing it with the same deadpan restraint he's had from the first page.
This is farce done with real control, not just enthusiasm, and it shows. More please.
My great pleasure. Very few can write genuinely funny, clever tales. You are one. BTW, I was mowing a friend’s back lawn, in Herts., not with a powered machine, just me pushing and pulling, and was accused by a neighbour of mowing in a loud and aggressive manner! 8-)
What a deliciously wicked way to kick off the July Smut Stroll! 😂 I absolutely loved this Suburban Incubus. The perfect mix of sharp humor, playful absurdity, and sizzling temptation.
Silken Mouli — this is genuinely one of the best comic pieces I've read in a long while, and I want to be specific about why.
The bathos is doing all the real work, and you never once let go of it. An Incubus Sorcerer Prince being ambushed over lawn-mowing, Residents' Association dues, and a squeaky back door is a joke that could collapse in a dozen ways, and it never does — you keep escalating the domestic-mundane register right alongside the supernatural-erotic one, so the two stay in perfect, ridiculous tension all the way to "in this economy?" That's much harder to sustain than it looks.
The chorus of women is a small masterclass in comic characterisation through tag and rhythm alone — Knee Braces, Sore Vagina, the freshly-permed cleaner-widow — each one distinguishable purely by preoccupation and cadence, no physical description doing the lifting. And "organised, orderly oral, as it were" is the kind of line that tells me you trust your reader to catch a joke without you underlining it.
The illusion catalogue near the end is the piece's best stretch — Bugatti woman, the Hugh-Grant butler, the K-pop idol, dad-bod-with-a-sandwich, and then the cat. The cat is the punchline of the whole sequence, and putting it last, undercutting the fantasy escalation with something completely banal, is exactly the right comic instinct.
And the ending — Anne walking out with a fiver from the Royal Bank of Scotland and a fistful of pound coins — is perfect. It's the joke the whole piece has been building toward: the Prince turning the tables from harassed to transactional, and doing it with the same deadpan restraint he's had from the first page.
This is farce done with real control, not just enthusiasm, and it shows. More please.
Thank you, that is very kind of you and I'm glad you enjoyed the story!
My great pleasure. Very few can write genuinely funny, clever tales. You are one. BTW, I was mowing a friend’s back lawn, in Herts., not with a powered machine, just me pushing and pulling, and was accused by a neighbour of mowing in a loud and aggressive manner! 8-)
I am now trying to decide if "mowing a friend's back lawn" is a euphemism or not. I have decided it is a much, much funnier story if it is.
Alas, it was entirely factual and innocent. But your version would be better! 8-)
Lol
Perfect description why the store is very good. Hats off Chris.
Thank you, Paul. Such wonderful writing deserves all the encouragement possible.
Very, very, funny tale. The drawing of the cat is the clincher for a third very.
Thank you! I'm very proud of that drawing, probably one of my best
Agreed!!
What a deliciously wicked way to kick off the July Smut Stroll! 😂 I absolutely loved this Suburban Incubus. The perfect mix of sharp humor, playful absurdity, and sizzling temptation.
Thank you! Which vision would have been yours?
Probably a handsome Argentine rugby player with that accent of his that makes me melt! 😊
Ahaha very specific!
That's so weird. It's a portrait of my husband😉
Love a deliciously wicked and fun tale!! 😁 ❤️
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it